Get Social, Live Longer

If you want to live longer, which relationships should you work on? Your family and relatives, or friends?

“Friends are better for your survival than close family,” says Professor Mary Luszcz, from the School of Psychology, Flinders University and co-investigator of a study of 1500 people aged 70 and upwards which examined the effect of social networks on survival in older Australians.
Close contact with children and relatives had little impact on survival rates over a ten-year period while a strong network of friends and confidants significantly improved the chances of survival, according to the study recently published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.
People with extensive networks outlived those with the least friends, by 22 per cent.
Many studies have shown that people with larger or stronger social networks live longer, deal better with disability, recover more rapidly from illness, and have better psychological well-being according to Luszcz. What hasn't been done before is to find out the specific health effects of the different kinds of social networks. And when it comes to longevity, friends matter the most.

“I often hear people say their friends care about them more than their families,” says Coffs Harbour psychologist, Denise Marshell.

This doesn’t discount the value of blood ties - but it does point to a special feature of friends. You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. “Being able to choose the company of people you like is an important part of emotional regulation and feeling a degree of control over your life,” says Luszcz. “It makes you feel good.”
Friends can encourage you to look after yourself by expressing concern if you’re not looking well. They give you some one you can turn to in crisis and act as a sounding board when making big life decisions – and they can often be more objective than family members. And with your confidants, those special friends you trust the most, you can reveal all. “If you think about who knows everything about you, it’s usually a friend not a family member,” says Marshell.
How do partners, husbands and wives, people we also chose to be with, compare to friends? “They’re important, particularly in helping older people maintain the ability to do basic daily activities such as walking, carrying groceries, or getting dressed. But their effect on longevity is weaker than that of friends,” says Luszcz, who suspects that a long history and a life-time of joint responsibilities may take the edge off their survival-enhancing effect.

If you want to increase your lifespan, and enjoy yourself along the way, investing in your friendships seems to be a wise move. To enhance the quality of your connections, Marshell suggests:
· Don’t take your friendships for granted, actively feed them by initiating and maintaining contact and expressing your appreciation.
· Aim for a reciprocal relationship where you listen as much as you talk, give as much as you take.
· Keep your friendships alive with some fun, spontaneity and special times away.
· Feel free to let go of friendships you’ve outgrown – it’s a sign you’re growing and changing.

By Thea O'Connor, health promotion consultant, writer, speaker, E: enquiries@thea.com.au www.thea.com.au  Published in Sunday Life magazine, for the Sunday Age and Herald Sun, 2005


Posted 18 May 2006 | 1 Comments | Add Comment | Download as pdf | Email to a friend